The first big race back after a dissapointing race can be hard. The mind likes to focus on the negatives and self doubt and the scary things that come with racing, as humans it is natural to avoid discomfort.
A big part of my build thus far is working on mindfulness during each run and even when I'm not running. Ive been going back to one of my favorite courses taken with one of my yoga mentours Michelle Theoret called "the art of giving a fu*k" Becasue it's easy to tell ourselves in a hard moments that 'this doesn't matter' or 'I'm not worthy of that' and lay off the pace or quit completely especially as recreational runners who chooses to run. But choosing to empower myself simply by allowing my goals to be important, by telling myself it matters in those hard moments and that I am worthy played a huge factor in what I consider my strongest race to date. Anytime self doubt or 'not giving a fu*k' thoughts showed up I welcomed them, acknowledged them and sent them on their way.
The second factor that played a huge role in silencing self doubt isbeing confident in the work you truly have been putting in like time at the gym, quality sessions, nutrition, recovery, etc. Having as many boxes checked in the 'control-able' part of training reminded me I am stronger than the last time I lined up.
Lastly you have to be BRAVE. Anything can happen on race day and if you are brave enough to show up then you can be brave enought to execute the race. Chunking down the race was extremely helpful in staying present in the process, I have not raced many hilly courses so I knew honing in on effort was the one familiar quality I could carry through and hoped that if I stayed true to that I could finish strong and NOTHING feels better than a stong finish.
The Austin Half Marathon may have only been a 1 second PB but I am confident in how I was able to execute the race and finish feeling strong and like I had more in the tank. Everything that I have been working on in this build is translating into becoming a stronger runner but it has taken almost 4 consistent years of running and bettering myself to get to this point.
The good days are excting but it takes the not so good ones to get there.
Peace & Love!